I don’t know.
My painbody and me
Eckart Tolle talks about the painbody and watching and developing awareness. I did this practice for years or maybe it seemed like years because it never seemed to make any difference, in fact I think this painbody is probably stronger now than when I started. For me the way he taught it created a duality between the witness and the painbody. Now it all seems like baloney as when true emptiness is experienced there is no thought. I am grateful for Osho and then Mooji for helping me to discover this emptiness. Eckart showed me the being I think he called it the inner body.
"Can I be the space" for this needs to become "I am the space for this" which really becomes "I am not / I am all" "I am this - and I am that - and I am neither"
Here there is an understanding of that and bliss is all around. But in ego/painbody land, physical ‘reality’, there is still a lot of confusion, fear and illness. I have isolated myself for a long time in order to avoid other egos and spiritual ego trappings. But I guess this is a trap in itself - which I believe I am ready to move (or be thrown) out of. I feel like that soft space of awareness is all I have, really the only thing I can count on :’( Haha the ego can make it sound like so much or so little depending upon its mood. But I guess that is the experience of it also.
I pray that all doubt is removed as to my true identity and to recognise ignorance and illusion wherever it hides. May I stop looking to others to recognise my own greatness and find I within. My I stop seeing other as other and outside as outside. This is why we are here to be torn apart only to reunite. The mind would like to make something better than that and it tries but all its efforts end up back in the mud. There is still hope for ‘something else’, ‘more than this’. But it is seen. This is called I am not enough by the one who can’t get enough. If it is believed the whole universe is shattered into a billion pieces only to be reassembled again in an instant by the eyes of the absolute.
It is seen as I write that this ego land exists precisely so our true nature can be experienced. As bliss can become a dumbed down experience when there is no pain to contrast it.
Self doubt does not belong to you.
It is not original to you.
You can send it back from where it came. You do not need it any more.
“Thank you but I don’t need this sort of support any more. I am ready to trust life and trust my true place of seeing. Home is here not out there it is here. I am coming home to stay. All else can come and go as it will. I remain seated in the one true light which can never leave me. Why? Because it is my own true self. I AM home, I am that. What more to say.”